I always thought that if I ever got married, we would go straight from the reception to the honeymoon. I blame Hollywood for this (and countless other things!) because basically every wedding scene ends with the bride and groom running out of the reception so they can hop on a plane to somewhere exotic.
Then I got engaged and started planning a wedding and was like, um no.
So, eight months almost to the day since Marc and I said, “I do”, we are finally going on our honeymoon. And, for us, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Here are our major reasons and arguments for delaying your honeymoon.
I can say there were many reasons why we didn’t go on our honeymoon immediately after our wedding, but when it really comes down to it the most important thing was money. Without it you can’t really do much. And right after our wedding we didn’t have much of it.
We weren’t left to finance our entire wedding on our own, but we still put a lot of resources into the planning and production of our dream day. That cost money and realistically we simply could not afford the type of honeymoon we wanted in the immediate aftermath.
Marc and I chose not to do a traditional wedding registry and told our guests they didn’t need to give gifts since we were already asking them to go to Mexico to celebrate with us. But many of our friends and family still wanted to give us something, so we set up a honeymoon fund. That has been a huge help in paying for our trip (thank you dear family and friends!!), but it didn’t cover everything.
So, by delaying our honeymoon we gave ourselves some extra time to save up for the vacation of our dreams.
Some people will opt for a mini-moon, like a long weekend away right after the wedding, with the full honeymoon later. And that is a fabulous idea if it works financially. We chose to take the money we would have spent on that and put it towards our Maldives trip.
I had no idea how stressed I was about the planning of our wedding until the wedding was actually over. And we didn’t even have a very big wedding! But there were so many details that needed attention, and so much mental energy that was put into that week in Mexico.
So, there is absolutely NO way I could even have begun to plan a honeymoon at the same time. To all those brides who do both, I applaud you! Please, tell us your organizational secrets!
With eight months between our wedding and our honeymoon I have had plenty of time to put thought and care into the planning of our trip. We’re staying at a gorgeous resort in the Maldives, going on a camel desert safari in Dubai, and have some other fun little details already decided.
I would never have been able to even contemplate a camel when I was in the thick of wedding planning. And if we would have gone all the way to Dubai and notcome home having seen a camel, I would have been very disappointed! Plus, if you don’t get a desert shot for Instagram when you’re in the desert, where you ever actually there?
Okay, so you spend months and months planning for your wedding and in the blink of an eye it’s just over. Now what? I was not prepared for the post-wedding blues that set in as soon as we got back from Mexico.
I no longer had this amazing event to which I could look forward. Now? Well, now I was just married. Kidding! Being married is awesome and amazing and a total reward, but it does lack that anticipation factor of an actual wedding day.
If we had immediately gone on our honeymoon everything would have happened so quickly. Before we even had time to reflect on the amazing wedding week, we would have been on to an amazing vacation. And when that vacation was over a week or so later, I’m sure the post-wedding blues would have been even stronger.
Instead, as I dealt with life after planning a wedding, I knew I still had a honeymoon to plan and look forward to. It has definitely helped keep that wedding/newlywed feeling alive longer. And I don’t think you’ll find many people who wouldn’t want to feel like a newlywed for a bit more time.
There were other factors that played in to our decision. At the top of that list was Oxford. Because we did a destination wedding, we were already leaving our dog for a week and we didn’t like the idea of leaving him for another ten days after that.
We opted for a destination wedding, but even if you do your wedding closer to home it often involves taking time off in the week leading up to the big day. Marc had just begun a new job in January of last year and didn’t exactly want to ask for two and a half weeks off on his first day.
And, for us, because it was a destination wedding, we were able to enjoy a week in a tropical paradise. So, the need for another beach vacation immediately after wasn’t very strong. Instead, we could wait until it was winter time in New York City when we would be in desperate need of some tropical fun in the sun.
The bottom line is this, there is no right or wrong answer. A honeymoon is an incredible gift that we feel so fortunate to even have. No matter when you choose to do yours, it will be memorable and amazing.
But don’t feel like you need to go all Hollywood on the timing. We all know most of that stuff is total crap anyway.
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